| i want to go shopping... BUT I CAN'T!
i have to save my money for the philippines trip and it's shopping uses...etc.
and then tuition. blah. this sucks.
i think i might want to do cultural.. just for the first couple of months of school. hmm. we'll see.
i'm sleepy.
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| listening to: gabe bondoc's cover of 'the way you look tonight'
:)
just came back from a wonderful dinner with ruth. i'm extremely grateful to have met such a vibrant woman. kudos to you mom! haha. we went to garcia's. her favorite mexican place to eat whenever she's in chicago. it was funny how i saw greg, jean, andy, and the rest of the seniors at northside there :) they are such cutie pies. i don't like how they're going to u of i. that's trouble. i don't like trouble. EW that's really gross. but at least they'll stay friends and hang out with each other still. so i guess that's ok.
anyways. i'm in a really chill mood because ruth made me feel really good about myself. what i do. how i act. :) and can you tell? i'm changing my smileys. no offense =). lol but i need some change here and there. so anyway. she told me it's good that i'm busy. it's what i do. it makes me happy. and i get good vibes from it. it's gives me energy to do what i do. she said i'm getting ready for my life as a doctor. haha oh gosh. bbbbbuuuuuuuttttttt. now i don't know if i should stop doing cultural? or do it only for nite in manila? and then not do battle? but... gaaaahh i don't know. but that's also where i hang out with everyone. that's also where i'll meet the new freshmen and get my name across. i'll talk with leo and see what he thinks.
i paid off both of my credit cards. both are at zero. for now.
now i just need to save save SAVE! up to pay off the philippines. FUCK.
but then i realized money comes and goes. i should just enjoy what i have right now. i'm working for a reason. to pay for school. and i should also reward myself and spend it on something i really want to do. so that's ok. this money is going to be well spent. fuck.. paying for tuition next year is going to be a bitch. eh. i'll figure it out :\ . i always do. i should be proud of myself!
i'm getting fat. lol yes. yes i am. maybe because i'm not dancing...? well i definitely eat too much. and not healthily either so... blah. my jeans don't fit after i wash them! LOL this sucks O:)
my hair is back to black. or at least dark brown. and some or very little of the highlights are still in it. but that's ok. i feel a lot better with this dark hair. i feel like.. me :) feeling a bit more pretty.. lol.. and i can use my black mascara again. finally. haha
i love gabe bondoc. lol. i hope he comes to nite in manila. oh that would be so awesome!
COOL BEANS.
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| it's been a long time.
and. i really should continue writing. so when i look back, i'll remember what's been going in my life.
i've been reading back through all my old blogs. and wow. they suck.
busy here. busy there. dance, play. dance play.
i guess i never changed.
let's recap the year yes?
poms.
gosh craziness. i was captain. city champions. i love breana (and kristine and gena).
good times. good times.
i don't think i'll ever forget poms.
ok let's not.
this year.
this year.
this year.
this year has been the hardest for me. the most emotional, stressful, exhausted year of my life. i want a mother, i want my friends, i want to live, i want to sleep, to dream, to relax. to finally find who i am.
i want to focus on school.
ok stop with the negative.
i'm alive.
i'm blessed.
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| in fact, 6 more days until my 17th birthday.
but i'm not as excited anymore. i need to get my head straight. |
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